Sorry, what?

WHEN did Amy Winehouse get diagnosed with Emphysema? Uhm... I'm sorry but you can't just recover from that? right? This makes no sense.

You know what pisses me off? Miley Cyrus and the rest of her shitty family, no, thats true but that wasn't what I was thinking about. The fact that back ages ago when Estelle released her first album and her first single I loved it and everyone else told me she was shit and she couldn't sing and was ugly and as soon as she goes to America and works with Timbaland and whoever fucking else she gets big? Nothing like I don't like her now she is big, it just pisses me off how fickle humans are.

Timbaland knows the way to reach the top of the charts, maybe if I work with him I can perfect the art... Thanks Weezer.


I've got a million and one things to pack and nothing to put them in, I have no food in because I'm moving out tomorrow, which means I can't eat anything before work and have nothing to take to work... I may have to get a chinese at some point next week because I am DYING for one. I want a turntable, an old one.

brokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecord


I hate my mind.

I have changed greatly in the past year and I don't know if it's for the better or not.

I was thinking about something Kelley richey said about her relationship with the Manics a little while ago and I started thinking about the way I was about My Chem.

Now don't get me wrong, I still love them, they are still one of my top bands. If they came to England now I would try my hardest to get a ticket, go to the gig and sleep outside the venue with all the other Fails or whatever but if it co-incided with university or work I wouldn't go. I'd be put out but Oh Well. I've worked myself into so much debt buying tickets to see them, fucked myself over at university popping off to go see them whenever I wanted. I've got about a million magazine with them in which I am going to throw away in three days because its just too much BAGGAGE. Physical and Emotional, why do I need these pictures? I don't even look at them anymore, I don't read the interviews anymore, and if I NEED to they are online, transcripted, scanned, whatever.

But for a good long time they were my absolute world, I cried when I couldn't see them, they were mostly all I talked about, like I knew them, I lived to see them again over and over.

Now I feel like life is more important, I don't know whether thats a good, grown up thing or if it's like a part of me has died. The part of me that never intended to live an 'average' life. Not that being stupid over a band is extraordinary or anything, but... you know. I think.


I let my mood affect the way I am towards other people too. I hate that.

The Big Read thinks the average adult has only read six of the top 100 books they've listed....

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicise those you intend to read
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them

( I'm suprised by the amount of books on here I have read )

Note: How pointless is it to have The Complete Works of Shakespeare and then have Hamlet down at the bottom? Well, I mean if you've read the first one you've read the last, but if you're going to include hamlet for the people who have read Shakespeare but not all of it, you should also be including Midsummer Night's Dream, Romeo and Juliet etc... wank.

I'm proud of how much I have read, I am the book gobbler.


I have days off, trying to organise moving out and in is stressful, I cannot stand SJ Moran Properties, I hate them with a passion. I also hate Adellyn's old housemates (Charli aside) and I am stressing out about money. I have none, literally, not even enough to buy me bread.

lose.

1. What's getting on your nerves right now?:
Hayfever

2. Do you think you've seen a ghost?:
Yes, a few times

3. Are you in pain right now?:
Yes

4. What's the background on your cell phone?:
Leopard print background, then a screensaver that is scrabble tiles spelling out FUCK YOUR MUMS SWEATY VADGE

5. Are you ignoring anyone right now?:
James.

6. What was the last alcoholic beverage you had?:
Cherry lambrini probably

7. Do you use iGoogle?:
No, why?

8. Are you a blonde?:
a little bit on my right

9. What was the last thing you cooked for yourself?:
Vegetarian Chilli Burrito

10. If you had to draw a picture right now, what would you draw?:
tits.

11. Whose computer are you on?:
no ones, i'm on my notebook.

12. Have you ever taken medications that were prescribed to someone else?:
Yes.

13. Have you ever tried shrimp?:
Tried? Try LIVED off.

14. Do you want to have many kids when you get older?:
I wanted 2, I got told I was having 4, now I will be bitterly disappointed if my genetics, insides or life partner fail me.

15. What are your favourite kind of oreos?:
DOUBLE WHITE STUFF

16. What really 'grinds your gears'?:
when I don't step on the clutch hard enough when changing them, makes an awful sound and everything.

17. Who did you last tell a secret to?:
Nicky, as ever.

18. When is the next time you'll be going on a plane?:
25th of july if my mothers sorted out the flights.

19. Tell me about your dream last night:
Can't remember it at this hour.

20. Have you ever gone on an online dream translator?:
All the time.

21. Who's on your top friends on MySpace?:
I don't remember, it's obsolete now.

22. What have you eaten today?:
3/4's of 2 corned beef sandwiches, a piece of flapjack, sausage egg and chips and a chilli burrito. i feel gargantuan.

23. Whats one thing you can say to a friend that will make them laugh, no matter what?:
Empty mug of humble pie

24. If you got to marry one celebrity who would it be?
David Bowie

25. What was the last TV show you watched?:
WWE Smackdown

26. Have you ever been out of the country? Where?:
france, belgium, holland, andorra, spain, barbados, america, brasil... cant think of anything else.

27. Tell me the last text you received:
'At Mine' from Nicola, saying where she was currently viewing wrestling.

28. Is anyone annoying you right now?:
James.

29. When did you last get scared?:
driving home

30. Have you ever given money to a homeless person?:
Yes, of course I have... better story, ONCE A HOMELESS GAVE ME 60p FOR A FAG

31. If yes, did you feel like a good person afterwards?:
Not particularly after I give money, even worse after he paid me.

32. Where was the last place you had sex?:
Raf's room (that feels weird to say)

33. How tan are you right now?:
Naturally.

34. Have you ever been scuba diving?:
Yes

35. How about parasailing?:
No, too scared.

36. What type of toothpaste do you use?:
The pearl drops one for smokers.

37. Do you often take online quizzes?:
yes.

38. Who was the last person you spoke to?:
Nicky

39. Who was the last friend you saw?:
Nicky

40. Do you hate your significant other's friends?:
No, I just hate him right now.

41. What are you doing tomorrow?:
cleaning, packing, moving some shit, sleeping.

42. Other than your own, who's bed did you last sit on?:
...Joels?

43. Who was the last person you disappointed?:
Myself.

44. Who did you last kiss?:
James.

45. What's the best joke you've heard lately?:
what kind of bee has milk? A BOOBEE.

I really miss my family.

I want to go home.

I want to be paid.

I want to quit my job.

I want to go out with all my friends back home.

I want to sleep.

I want to feel active and not like i'm just going through the motions.

“Have you ever been in love?

Horrible isn't it?

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you.

They didn't ask for it.

They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages.
It gets inside you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love.”

~Neil Gaiman

I woke up alarmed
I didn't know where I was at first
Just that I woke up in your arms
And almost immediately I felt sorry
'Cause I didn't think this would happen again
No matter what I could do or say
Just that I didn't think this would happen again
With or without my best intentions
And whatever happened to a boyfriend
The kind of guy who tries to win you over?
And whatever happened to a boyfriend
The kind of guy who makes love 'cause he's in it?

And I want a boyfriend
I want a boyfriend
I want all that boring old shit like letters and sodas
Letters and sodas

You got up out of bed
You said you had a lot of work to do
But I heard the rest in your head
And almost immediately I felt sorry
'Cause I didn't think this would happen again
No matter what I could do or say
Just that I didn't think this would happen again
With or without my best intentions

And I want a boyfriend
I want a boyfriend
I want all that stupid old shit like letters and sodas

And I can feel it in my bones
I'm gonna spend another year alone
It's fuck and run, fuck and run
Even when I was seventeen
Fuck and run, fuck and run
Even when I was twelve

And I can feel it in my bones
I'm gonna spend my whole life alone
It's fuck and run, fuck and run
Even when I was seventeen
Fuck and run, fuck and run
Even when I was twelve

You almost felt bad
You said that I should call you up
But I knew much better than that
And almost immediately you felt sorry
'Cause you didn't think this would happen again
No matter what you could do or say
Just that you didn't think this would happen again
Without or without your best intentions

And whatever happened to a girlfriend
The kind of chick who tries to win you over?
And whatever happened to a girlfriend
The kind of chick who makes love 'cause she's in it?

And you want a girlfriend
You want a girlfriend
You want all that boring old shit like letters and sodas
Letters and sodas
Letters and sodas
Letters and sodas

Looking out the door I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners
Parading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with water
And maybe Im too young to keep good love from going wrong
But tonight youre on my mind so you never know

When Im broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it
Where are you tonight, child you know how much I need it
Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run

Sometimes a man gets carried away, when he feels like he should be having his fun
And much too blind to see the damage hes done
Sometimes a man must awake to find that really, he has no-one

So Ill wait for you... and Ill burn
Will I ever see your sweet return
Oh will I ever learn

Oh lover, you shouldve come over
cause its not too late

Lonely is the room, the bed is made, the open window lets the rain in
Burning in the corner is the only one who dreams he had you with him
My body turns and yearns for a sleep that will never come

Its never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
Its never over, all my riches for her smiles when I slept so soft against her
Its never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
Its never over, shes the tear that hangs inside my soul forever

Well maybe Im just too young
To keep good love from going wrong

Oh... lover, you shouldve come over
cause its not too late

Well I feel too young to hold on
And Im much too old to break free and run
Too deaf, dumb, and blind to see the damage Ive done
Sweet lover, you shouldve come over
Oh, love well Im waiting for you

Lover, you shouldve come over
cause its not too late

You know how sometimes people on your friend's list post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy my response below, erase my answers putting yours in their place then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration! One-word answers seldom help anyone out. :)
( Read more... )


12. Who are some of your closest friends?
flyandrun
padfootlovesme
ninalikewhoa
redshira
Samantha Collins
Steven 'Stevie Boy' Chicken (chick)
Emily Newman
Claudia Coleman
Jodie Mitchell
Tom Fanthorpe
Megan Dance
Steph Clark
Ava Cook
Sophie Thomas
Charlotte Harman
Tom Langdon
Karl Lobo
Kristina Mullen
Tye Day

those are the people I pretty much ritualistically turn to for advice or comfort, who I would trust with my secrets and to defend me till the bitter end, the ones who more or less have my best interests at heart (there are only two on there that I don't think fit the bill but I still love them)

the rest of you, like shapeonthesails,mirfainlasui,tyrande_elune, olizmay, apoeticmindset, Amy, Jo, liz, Nettie, Nat, Natt, Maz, Rachel, Kelli, Beccy (LOVELY BECCY), Kerri ...Oh you all know who you are the rest of you. You are my very good friends who I couldn't imagine not knowing and as long as I HAVE known you have brought me immense joy and fun times and I love you all very much.